Wanna know what 111 women leaders named as the skills and behaviors needed to create success in business? Read on to discover how to lead with moxie...
A few years ago, I stumbled into a project that uncovered many hidden gems behind what it takes for women to be successful in business.
I set out to better understand what makes female entrepreneurs and leaders tick. Sure, I am one. Also, I work and hang out with many, and serve on boards with others... Yet I wanted to create a profile of a successful woman running a business (and in truth, I felt a need to validate some of my own thoughts and ideas about how to add value for clients!). Initially, I invited 10 local women business owners to answer a few questions during a short call. These women already knew me, and each conversation was fairly relaxed. As they answered my questions and let their guard down, some of the same topics came up again and again. I achieved what I had intended: I gathered the specific skills and behaviors they felt were required (from them as individuals) to achieve their desired business success - but I uncovered SO MUCH MORE...
The results were not entirely what I expected.
- I did validate the idea that more women leaders would benefit from my style of coaching and chosen focus areas. (Yay!)
- Most of the skills and behaviors these women shared as things they need to work on fit with patterns I had seen in over 10 years of coaching. Yet there were some outliers that were very interesting.
- I was completely surprised and truly honored by the level of vulnerability and trust these strong, driven women gave to me.
- I was initially confused by a trend in what they said they believe it takes for women to be successful in business.
- I was shocked by some emerging themes...
I had to know more. And so did they!
Several of them asked me later “What did the other women say?” I was happy to share with them (without revealing who they were) and I witnessed something that changed me forever. This discovery gave me the strength to write a book, to change my approach to business, and to step boldly into my purpose!
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The project took on a life of its own. Most of the women I talked with appreciated that they gained insights of their own just during the conversations. (Ha, although it had not been my intention, I couldn’t shut off my natural coaching ability nor my caring nature, and I asked clarifying questions which I learned later led to new perspectives and actions for many of them.) They wanted to share the interview experience with other women in their lives who were running a business, and connected us.
I am still deeply grateful for this!
As months passed it morphed into a "body of work," and roughly 18 months later I had 111 interviews completed! I hardly believed it. Sometimes it seemed seriously overwhelming, dealing with this extra project in addition to managing my own coaching practice (plus growing a brand and team of coaches at Envision Success Inc.) -- Hey, I'm only human!! Frankly, the project sat on the sidelines for chunks of time. My guilt became unbearable from not “doing something” with this goldmine of information.
I had LOADS of ideas, but far less time and energy (and clarity). And I will admit to you here and now that I was scared to go all in and publish something. I feared the time it would take, I feared any less-than-exceptional output would be a massive disappointment to these amazing women I admired, and I was embarrassed for not staying in touch better, giving status updates and sharing insights sooner. I also felt a strong pull by business and marketing savvy to use the information to grow revenue, but was stopped by a fear of a sense of betrayal by these women who opened up to me so readily.
(A session with my own coach reminded me these are not mutually exclusive!).
Can more "love-based" business decisions lead to better results? Hell Yeah! @HeatherLegge #EnvisionSuccess
Where did this general notion come from: that being loving and caring in business is showing weakness? That being nurturing is somehow less revenue-driven?
I now know these to be total bullshit. However, it was for reasons under this umbrella that I didn't wear pink until I was 35 or 36 years old. Hearts, flowers, and lace? Fahgettaboudit. Maybe your upbringing was a little different, but I got the message loud and clear in the 70's that being feminine was being weaker. I could dive into that topic a lot more, but suffice it to say here that I avoided looking too girly so I wouldn't be underestimated. In elementary school, I hated my parents for requiring me to wear skirts and dresses much of the time...so I would occasionally sneak my favorite pair of ripped jeans in my bag, then change in secret in the girls' bathroom. Until that one day I got caught by my dad when I forgot to change back after class- oops! Then in High School, I had to backpedal some to get any dates. I learned that being smart was too intimidating for the boys, so I dumbed myself down, and started wearing skirts again. I look back now and shake my head...
THANK GOD that things are different for girls today in many ways! I know there are still undercurrents of the old conditioning going strong in our modern society, but I am so happy that women are seen more often today (by both genders) as being both strong and feminine.
And I'm thrilled that my male clients are also showing more caring in business as an expected approach. I think this is a very tricky time for men: it takes a lot more guts to show vulnerability as a man in business and be expected to do so in some contexts, while being expected to take charge with machismo and a ruthless competitive spirit in other scenarios. I'm rootin' for you guys too!
And still- women are generally expected NOT to be direct, competitive, or show "masculine" traits if they want to be fully successful in the greater sense. All those brave pioneering women who paved the way for us to be accepted as strong performers (who happen to be women) had to be extra tough to break down so many barriers. But the downside is that now we are either "normal" and feminine or we're written off as the B word in a New York minute. And you know I don't mean "boss."
It's a weird time for us all! Gone are the days when sales are mere transactions. Relationships and connection are now at the heart of any successful sales process.
I'm grateful to the many women who helped me validate the veiled belief so I could finally let my guard down, let my hair down, and embrace the real heart of my business!
These interviews gave me the courage to let my "freak" flag fly and tell the world that my business decisions are driven from a place of love. I am now overt about the fact that operating with this attitude is a far better way to work, and to live!
For most of my adult life, I had signed personal cards or hand-written letters with a heart and my first name. As I was preparing to share the initial findings from the interviews, I decided to start using the "heart Heather" in business too! And I started using a signature peachy color to signify the softer side of my more personal posts and other content.
To me this symbolizes the marrying of my personal drive to be of service, and to operate with caring, to be strong enough to be vulnerable and share my humanity with my pack.
Today, you see it all over my stuff, like this and similar:
Here's to your success!
PS- Wanna know what the 111 leaders I interviewed said? Get the book here!
PPS- Curious about what it would be like to work with me to overcome your perceived limitations? Schedule a 20-minute block-busting call with me
Love has a place in business. For more financial success, sustainability, a healthier work environment, and trust…make sure some aspects of caring or nurturing are included in every business decision! #EnvisionSuccess