When it comes to leadership self-improvement, should we focus on how to develop our SELF to be better leaders? There’s a lot to be gained from recognizing what resides deep within us—what’s at the root of our beliefs about ourselves and others, where our blind spots are, which limiting beliefs hold us back, how our words are heard and received by others, and how we, as leaders, can be better equipped to guide our teams.
See also related blogs in this 40000 foot view- Perspectives series.
Let's talk about self development for leaders.
This blog is going to deviate a bit from my recent posts – taking a more personal approach this time. I actually considered filming a video on this topic but decided against it. Why? Well, I’ve found myself getting a bit tired of (and I’m anticipating some BIG pushback on this next part) … all the 'talking heads’ (See my PS. below.)
For those of you still hanging in there, don’t worry—the subject of this blog will probably give you plenty of chances to, once again, move on. What is that ‘controversial topic’? Self-development – aka self-improvement – aka self-awareness – aka self-growth – aka self-motivation and the ilk.
Notice a common word in all of this? Bet you did (wink, wink) – SELF!
Left me yet? Nope! Well, here we go.
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I’m not saying the self "movement" is a bad thing—it just feels so myopic, so ME focused.
And yes, as passengers on airplanes are ALWAYS told, “put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting others”. We are told this because it’s an important rule for ensuring survival! If we run out of oxygen ourselves, how can we help anyone else with their oxygen mask?
Or plainly stated: if you die, you can’t help anyone else.
And hey, developing yourself is no easy task, so kudos to anyone who's even dipped a toe into this movement!
There’s a lot to be gained from recognizing what resides deep within us—what’s at the root of our beliefs about ourselves and others, where our blind spots are, which limiting beliefs hold us back, how our words are heard and received by others, and how we, as leaders, can be better equipped to guide our teams.
These are areas where a system for self-development can be of benefit.
It’s not that I am advocating throwing the baby out with the bath water (seriously, where did that analogy even come from?). Rather, I’m proposing we take a broader perspective on this movement and, what I believe to be, it’s primary objective.
And exactly what, you ask, do I see this objective to be?
In my opinion, it’s about how our personal growth can be used for the betterment of mankind.
How can self development better equip us to guide our teams?
I propose we take ALL this growth and development and intentionally seek ways to add value back to others.
Why keep it bottled up inside us, strutting around like a proud peacock, silently shouting (I know, oxymoron) to the world that, I HAVE ARRIVED!!! I AM SELF DEVELOPED!!! Not only do I sense an inherent danger in becoming preoccupied with self, I have observed it.
I have watched and listened to people that tirelessly perfect their ‘scripts’, in an effort to become the authority to others and overcome the objections that are raised – while relegating the other person’s feelings, desires, motives, reasons, and opinions to a lesser than position.
By being so SELF centered, we run the risk of thinking (perhaps even believing), that somehow, WE know what’s best for the other person, because after all, we are a NEW and IMPROVED version.
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What if we took all this self-awareness and channeled it more outward than inward – more others oriented than self-oriented? What could be gained by tapping into our self-awareness in a way that makes a positive impact on the growth of others – on improving not only ourselves, but in making a lasting difference in the lives of others?
- How could stepping outside our own shoes and into the shoes of those we encounter, contribute and cultivate to the betterment of everyone?
- How could effective communication be enhanced and improved as we grow in our understanding of how our words are heard and received by people?
Isn’t this all just a small piece of what truly matters on our journey of self-discovery and growth?
By being so SELF centered, we run the risk of thinking (perhaps even believing), that somehow, WE know what’s best for the other person, because after all, we are a NEW and IMPROVED version.
So, you see, I don’t believe the whole self-development movement is without its positive outcome. I just think we need to be broader in our approach to it.
I am of the mindset that we are in a constant state of growth – there is always more to learn.
And if there is always more to learn, wouldn’t learning alongside others be of greater impact and benefit to everyone?
My challenge to you is to take a step back from the idea that it’s all about ME, and expand that myopic vision into something much grander, asking yourself, how can knowing what I know about ME add more value to YOU?
PS. That ‘talking heads’ comment – I don’t know if it’s true for you BUT for me, I find it all too easy to get distracted by what people wear, how they sound, their hairstyle, etc., and can easily lose focus on their content. PLUS…I listen and then quickly forget what I heard. I always intend to come back and listen and take notes yet seldom do. Reading a document eliminates those distractions and also affords me the opportunity to print the article and highlight or take notes.